Funeral follies

Planning your death is no different than planning your life

Nobody, with the exception of that very ghoulish character Harold, from the movie Harold and Maude likes to talk about death. Harold, being Harold, couldn’t wait to plan the perfect funeral. If our mind ever wanders in the dreaded direction of death, we immediately change gears or imagine a gathering of friends and family who are heartbroken but celebrating our life.

This is a perfect image and only imagination can create. It usually doesn’t happen this way because we don’t normally tell our loved ones or those we leave behind what we want. People are notoriously lax when it comes to planning their own funerals. If you’ve never given much thought to planning your funeral, what others choose for you could cause you to flip over in your proverbial grave or worst-case scenario – doing a Michael Jackson and floating like flotsam for weeks afterwards. his death. his family fights over where his final resting place will be. For whatever reason, death often brings out the worst in people.

It’s supposed to be a moment of closure, respect, and remembrance, but it can quickly turn into a huge family feud over everything from how you’ll be buried to where and when. Unless you have it in writing like anything else in life, or you have a relative like Harold who will spend time with you waiting for that inevitable moment, now is the time to start planning.

The more detailed your instructions, the less opportunity there will be for dissent among those you leave behind. Death can also be a time when others take advantage of the grief of friends and relatives because it is too easy for reason and practicality to take a back seat to raw emotion. This is another reason why end-of-life decisions are best made long before that day arrives.

For example, if you choose a traditional funeral, the purchase of a casket is a significant expense. Don’t put your family in the position of feeling that they need to buy the most expensive casket available because they are made to feel that the amount of money they spend on the casket is a reflection of their love for you. If an expensive casket is not important to you, make it clear in your instructions that you want a cheap, inexpensive, or moderately priced casket.

If you prefer a memorial service to a funeral and have a significant number of friends and family who live out of town, make it as easy as possible for those who want to attend the service by specifying in your instructions that the service is to be scheduled for the first Saturday. , at least two weeks after his death. This way, air travel will be much less expensive, and having the service on a weekend allows people to attend without having to take off from work.

Don’t be afraid to get creative in making the final arrangements to make things as easy as possible for the family and friends you leave behind. Take the time now to obtain a will, living will, and power of attorney for health care and put your wishes for your final arrangements in writing in as much detail as possible. Give yourself and your family the peace of mind of being prepared for the most difficult but inevitable part of life.

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