The most important thing to remember when potty training a developmentally delayed child is that potty training may not occur until your child is much older than their peers. As a parent, you may want him to be potty-trained sooner, but like any potty-trained child, he won’t be potty-trained until he’s ready. You can start potty training your developmentally delayed child when he is ready. Your little one may be stuck in the pre-potty training step for a long time before he sees potty-training success, but be patient. He will find out eventually.

Here are some pre-potty training ideas you can do with your developmentally delayed child.

-Teach the words for urine and feces. You can use whatever words you want for this. During diaper changes talk to him and be sure to tell him about “pee pee” and “poo poo”. If he doesn’t speak yet, don’t worry, his receptive language (what he understands) may develop before his expressive language (what he can say).

-If he is walking, take him to the bathroom when you go to the bathroom. Let him flush the toilet or sit on the toilet. If he doesn’t want to sit on the toilet or gets scared, walk away and have fun. Making him sit on the toilet when he’s not ready will only make potty training more difficult.

-Get him a urinal or potty chair. Don’t worry if you don’t use your potty anytime soon. Feel in it whenever you want. He may not actually pee on the potty, but let him enjoy his seat and being a big boy.

Signs that your child is ready to start potty training.

– You can walk alone to the bathroom.

-You can put on and take off the pants by yourself.

-Can understand simple instructions.

-Have regular bowel movements.

-He is able to communicate his needs to you.

-Is interested in wearing underwear

-He is not afraid of the bathroom

-Alerts you when his diaper is wet or dirty or he takes off his diapers

Once he starts showing signs that he’s ready to start potty training, take it slow and be patient. Take him to the potty and let him sit on the toilet or potty chair. He may not actually go to the bathroom, but as long as he’s happy, let him sit on the toilet for a while. You may enjoy sitting on the potty like a big kid, but don’t really understand what you’re supposed to do. Don’t worry. Eventually you will get it. Let him practice sitting on the potty once or twice a day. First thing in the morning and right after his nap are good times to let him try sitting on the potty. If he gets frustrated or you get frustrated, take a break.

It may take months before you have a hit, but one day you’ll be pleasantly surprised when your developmentally delayed child finally urinates in the toilet. The first success is always the most exciting, but don’t be surprised if the first success isn’t followed by another. When my developmentally delayed son started potty training and finally succeeded, I thought “eureka, he finally got it.” Only to be disappointed when he didn’t do it again for another two or three months. Go ahead and let him practice sitting on the potty. Over time, his success stories will become more frequent and eventually he will be fully potty trained.