My Husband Says He Loves Me But Says He Doesn’t Want To Be Married Anymore – Tips To Help Wives

I often hear from wives who are quite confused by the contradiction that occurs within their own homes. Their husbands usually assure them that they still love them, and yet the husband has dropped the bombshell that he doesn’t want to be married anymore. Wives often wonder how on earth this makes sense. Most wives can’t imagine wanting to end a marriage with someone you supposedly still love. And, if the love is there, why can’t the two of you work together to change your feelings about ending it?

Obviously, this is a question that your husband will have to answer satisfactorily. But in my experience, there is a right way and a wrong way to handle this terrible news. Many of us allow shock and pain to contribute to our responding with knee-jerk reactions that only make things worse and only reinforce negative perceptions that probably contribute greatly to the husband wanting out.

Therefore, in the following article, I will try to provide some insights into what your husband might be thinking and experiencing and how you can use this knowledge to address things that need to be overcome in a more positive and successful way. .

Don’t let the unknown stop you from addressing those things that need to be addressed: It is very common in this situation to focus on trying to change what is an equation that does not make sense. Many wives will make it their main goal to “get to the bottom” of why they are doing this. Or they will try to argue that there is no point in still loving your wife but wanting to leave her. It’s very tempting to ask if he’s lying about loving you or lying about the situation. Is there anyone else? Is there something else going on or another consideration that you’re not sharing?

You may never get truthful information in response to these questions, especially at first. I may not be able to give you the answers. (Many men tell me very vague reasons (such as their general unhappiness) as why they want to date, rather than a specific cause.) Or, you may be hiding something. You may not be able to change this, as you depend on him to give you insight into what is really on his mind and heart. You often cannot change or control this no matter how much you want to.

Therefore, you better take control where you can, within yourself and within your part of the marriage. Don’t let a constant search for answers that will never come slow you down or keep you from doing what needs to be done. And what you need to do is work immediately to change the perceptions, the environment, and the nuances that are contributing to your husband’s (and probably your) unhappiness.

Focusing on the perceptions and little nuances that are contributing to your husband no longer wanting to marry: Husbands sometimes tell me things that they don’t tell their wives. Not always, but sometimes. Still, as I said, many husbands who find themselves in this position will give me very vague reasoning as to why they are where they are. I often hear things like “I feel like being married doesn’t work for me anymore.” However, “we’re just two different people who aren’t really compatible anymore and neither of us is as happy as we should be.”

Very rarely will they tell you (because even they may not have been aware of these things on a conscious level) the underlying causes, which are almost always things like loss of intimacy, loss of sustained marital efforts that strengthen and bond you. , and an environment that is no longer full of happiness and fun. Men will often mistake these changes as a sign that the chemistry that used to bind them together is gone. Yes, they still love you. That has not changed and it is quite likely that they are not lying about this. They really believe it.

But unfortunately, they also believe that things have gone too far to really change. They also believe that marriage is no longer fulfilling and promising enough to fight for and that, on a personal level, it is better to cut your losses than to spend time and effort trying to recoup perceived losses. These are the things you should be turning to and paying attention to, not how they could love you but still want to leave you. It is far better to take quick and decisive action than to argue and question.

Take the action that will give you the best chance of changing your husband’s desire to end the marriage: Like I said, you really only have direct and complete control over your own actions. You can’t really force him to feel or do something he’s totally opposed to. But, you can change the circumstances and actions that are framing your opposition. Do not stop in the direction of the marriage and do not repeatedly question or argue with him about it. Doing these things only reinforces negative perceptions that you need to overcome.

Instead, brainstorm what things, character traits, and actions have drawn your husband to you and strengthened your relationship in the past. Now is the time to get those things out. Now is the time to turn to those things that have given you a positive answer in the past. This is not the time to focus on semantics or how one or both are wrong and need to be corrected. Instead, it’s time to behave in a way that brings you positive responses and perceptions of your husband. The reason for this is that he needs to see that the environment and the marriage can change because you are taking decisive action instead of repeatedly questioning and arguing.

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