There are three talk shows that I watch on TV, The late show with David Letterman, The daily show with Jon Stewart and Tonight’s show with Jay Leno. (Now I also look at The Colbert Report. with Stephen Colbert.)

Stewart is too late for me, but I can catch him multiple times the next day along with Colbert.

In our area, Leno starts at 10:35 pm and Letterman starts at 11:05 pm Why they come at this time instead of 10:00 and 11:00 is a mystery to me. I’d just like to say that it really bothers me. I guess I’m picky, picky!

Jay leno

I watch Leno the first half hour of his show and then Letterman the first half hour of his show.

Sometimes I switch back and forth. Clickity, Click!

I usually don’t stay awake for the second half of Letterman unless I have a guest that gets along with me.

Leno has (don’t put a disparaging comment here) writers. His jokes suck sometimes. But he has that funny kid humor that helps him get through the monologue. Every once in a while all jokes are funny, but not that often. When he finds a stinky smell, he points it out like it’s just that and usually laughs.

It is the albatross around your neck.

Sometimes Leno’s orchestra leader Kevin saves him during dialogue. Kevin sometimes destroys it. Leno is a good athlete and he gets rid of it.

I don’t think there is enough malice, selfishness, anger, etc. on Leno to make him a great comedian, but he usually gets the job done.

Sometimes the show’s skits come out and sometimes they don’t, but I like the skits and hope for the best.

Sometimes you have an outside report from a person who might be funny. I had a couple of young ladies a couple of years ago that were fun to watch. I think they are raising babies now, one in Oklahoma.

His recent reports have not been so funny.

There is a rule in the business that says:

If it’s not funny, it’s too long!

Okay!

There is NO such rule!

I invented.

I was just trying to show that I am an expert on this topic.

Leno is not intrusive enough or interested enough in your quest to be a good interviewer. It never gets you into the nuts and bolts of your guest.

Leno could be more effective if he simply said to a guest, “Let’s see. Were you born in Kentucky?”

Gold,

“I heard you wanted to be a chiropractor when you were a kid.”

He likes to smell women and say they are pretty. (Letterman does this “sniff” too, but in a less intrusive way).

I like when Jay has animals. He is very good with them. It always goes beyond what is required.

It is also good when your comedian companions appear. That’s his competition stemming from his continual off-set live comedy routines.

Their curbside interviews and headlines are always worth seeing.

He is the king of the night with a great audience.

David letterman

David Letterman is an old man with a small child. You have had coronary bypass surgery. We know that he is human.

Letterman is not based on the monologue. Tell two or three jokes, one about rats or squirrels and their nuts, and that’s it. The leader of the orchestra, Paul, like Kevin in Leno’s show, adlibs and ruins or reinforces the monologue.

Letterman is eager to get to his table and from that moment on you don’t know what will happen.

Letterman uses facial and verbal antics to get attention. Throw pencils and cards around the study. The other night, a man on fire ran through the studio just like the winners of the New York City Marathon. He had a bear that they kept every night and that is now in hibernation. He plays “Will it Float”, drops things from buildings, flirts with the restaurant owner across the street, and sometimes terrorizes the neighborhood by jumping motorcycles in the street.

Letterman speaks to the audience like Leno does, but has “Know your cuts of meat” etc to add interest. Sometimes your guest has a trick or tries to fool the band with a song.

I have a song that I want to fool the band with. It’s “Once I went swimming.”

Letterman is a very good interviewer, but not as good as Jack Paar or Johnny Carson. He has deeper questions than Leno. I’ve only seen him dumbfounded by one mission. (It seems like Paris Hilton is missing something that helps most people answer questions instead of just sitting there saying: Duhhhh.)

Letterman never forgets his “Top Ten List.” The following is my list for the show:

Why does David Letterman ALWAYS wear white socks?

1. Has jungle rot from WWII.

2. He hates looking for matching socks in the dark.

3. You don’t want to forget your “Country Pumpkin” roots.

4. Your brother is a nurse with a large clothing allowance.

5. Helps you hide in the cotton field of income, plus you are a fan of the Chicago White Sox.

6. It is an avid whitetail deer hunter.

7. Works nights in a bakery.

8. He thinks he is Frosty the snowman.

9. His great-grandmother wore white socks and he remembers her that way.

And the 10th reason David Letterman wears white socks is:

10. Expect to try out for the next Mickey Mouse-like Disney character.

Jon stewart

Jon Stewart has a cynical humor that makes his young audience laugh. The supporting characters provide skits to add to the fun. I like Samantha, but she can be too vulgar (like the others) and my wife forces me to change the channel.

Stewart also has a guest and the interview is usually serious.

The politicians, on the show, sometimes like to clown around and keep things fun. (They are in danger of being hit by Jon’s ideas.)

The only thing I don’t like about the Daily program is that it is too short. Adding the Report Cobert He has added the extra half hour he needed.

Of course, Stephen Cobert is a complete fool and is on his way to fame and fortune.

We need comedy right now without grace.

Glad these guys are around!

copyright © John T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005