Why does my ex say he loves me but doesn’t want to get back together?

Ex boyfriend giving you mixed signals? Does he call you one day saying he still has feelings for you, but he ignores you the next day when you call him back?

Does your ex keep telling you that he loves you, even though you’re apart? And yet, every time you suggest getting back together with him, he suddenly runs in the opposite direction?

Your situation is much more common than you think. At this time, your ex boyfriend may seem or act emotionally conflicted around you. He will tell you that he is confused, or that he wants time alone, or that he “needs some space” to work things out. In reality, however, something very, very different is happening. What if you want your ex back? You need to recognize exactly what he is.

Reasons why your ex still loves you after breaking up

Relationships are filled with deep-seated feelings. The emotional ties you felt for your boyfriend ran deep, and so did he. Because of this, your ex will not let you go in one fell swoop. It’s much easier for him to let you go bit by bit, because he still has residual feelings for you.

So yes, your ex boyfriend may still have a crush on you, even after you break up. This would be why he still calls you, texts you, or fills up your email inbox on a daily basis. However, at the same time, he is not yet ready to get back together. Keep pushing him for a reconciliation, and you might find your ex drifting further and further away.

This is where you try to walk that fine line… you try to maintain that delicate balance between staying in touch with your ex boyfriend without scaring him. However, what you don’t realize is that you’re really not doing yourself any favors here. And in most cases, you’re actually prolonging the amount of time you and your boyfriend will be apart.

Why your ex doesn’t want to get back together with you right now

This game of cat and mouse that your ex is playing with you right now is designed to accomplish one thing: keep you spinning. Your boyfriend wants to have his cake and eat it too: he would like you to stay and wait for him while he goes out and out with other people, and otherwise he enjoys being single again.

That’s why your ex says he loves you, it’s because he does, but also because he wants you to have HOPE. Idealistically, he would love for you to sit idly by as his backup plan, in case he can’t find a better girlfriend. What if he does? Suddenly he doesn’t love you that much anymore, or he stops calling you altogether. That’s when he will tell you that his feelings ‘just aren’t the same’, and that’s when you will lose your ex forever. All because you sat passively dealing with your breakup instead of being proactive about it.

What to do when your ex boyfriend says he loves you

When your ex starts telling you how much he still cares about you, that’s the exact moment you should walk away. The more he insists on revealing his true feelings, the more you will need to walk away and keep some distance between you and your ex lover.

This is not because you are playing, it is actually quite the opposite. You’re letting your boyfriend know that he can’t have it both ways: he can’t have the friendship and companionship of having you around while he maintains the freedom of being single. Don’t give him the security of knowing you still love him while he’s playing the field, or he won’t commit to you 100%.

Tell your ex that you do love him, but that you can’t go on living a half-hearted relationship. Let him know that it’s better if the two of you broke up, because you can’t keep hearing how much he loves you and he still doesn’t want to be with you again.

Do this and you will force your ex boyfriend to make a decision. You are making him choose to have all of you or not to have any of you. And while this may sound harsh, and can it be a little scary? It’s really the only thing that will make your ex realize that he wants you back, instead of risking losing you to someone else.

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