It is usually played on warm summer days when colored balls are gently knocked into bright white hoops in lush green gardens. Posh folk drink Pimms to quench their thirst and silently applaud a particularly good shot. Why, then, when chatting with a couple of players about the game, did a devilish glint appear in the eyes when discussing a particular game or a successful tactic?

I now consider myself brilliant, and despite what my family thinks, I have an above average IQ. So how come, and I hope I’ll excuse myself here, a lovely little old lady begins to tell me the rules of this garden game? I feel like a five year old sitting in a lecture explaining quantum physics.

My eyes must have been glazed over and I just nodded and tried to take notes as she continued her description of this extreme sport. Wait a minute; let’s go back to the beginning. Before the ‘old lady’ joined us, Keith Mackenzie-Ross, the newly appointed Croquet Section Secretary of the Winchester Tennis and Squash Club, and I were having a quiet little chat about this game that has been around since, well, a long time ago. started it seems.

Croquet is a game played on the garden lawn by friends and family during the Sunday barbecue and also at the highest level by highly skilled and disabled players. Few sports can have such a diversity of playing fields and standards. Forgetting the rocket science part, it’s basically a game of hitting balls, with a mallet, through hoops that are embedded in the grass.

It seems that the origins go back to the Middle Ages when it was played in the French countryside and then it was borrowed by the British in the 14th century. Other sources claim that the modern game was devised in Ireland, so what is believed to be essentially an English game, but played around the world, could in fact have been invented by our neighbours.

“I’m a rookie to the sport, a rookie who’s passed the one-year mark.” Keith explained. “I’ve been playing for about 18 months, but I played as a student in the years my wife calls my wasted youth. The basic premise of the game is to beat hoops before the opposition.”

“With Golf Croquet, which is the most popular form, you have to go through seven rings, but with Association Croquet it’s 12 rings and then hitting the post in the middle. A game can last anywhere from 45 minutes to over 3 hours for some games of the Association. We have two pitches here, some people call them pitches, and during our Monday and Thursday afternoon ‘Mix-Ins’ we can have two or three games on each pitch. It can be confusing.”

As we talked, Keith described maneuvers similar to billiards or cannon pool and billiards tactics. It’s not just about getting your own ball through the hoop, it’s about preventing your opponent from passing his or hers and then preventing him or her from stopping yours. Describing complex chess moves would have been easier for my bored brain. Then Jo Burnaby joined us.

Jo is a lovely, fragile-looking lady who is, shall we say, a bit past the summer of life, but has a twinkle in her eye and a mastery of this complex but engaging sport. “It’s a very tactical game.” She explained to me. “There is even an advanced set of rules for the best players. It could be that the opposition is sitting out for most of the game, just like in some snooker matches.”

This was the point at which Jo began to explain some of the finer details of the rules of engagement and within seconds I was lost too. I was confused and stunned by the information presented to me and realized that we were not just talking about sport, but battle plans and action campaigns. Keith saved me from more embarrassment.

“It’s a very competitive game and if you have an eye for the ball, let’s say you play golf or tennis, then it’s an ideal game for you.”

As with golf, there are downsides to leveling the playing field so that beginners can play with more experienced players. Jo explained. “Even play and with your handicap you can get ‘extra turns’. In the Association rules this is called a ‘bisque’. You raise your finger in the air and say ‘I’m going to have a bisque’ and a little stick is put on on the ground to help you keep score.

Both Jo and Keith went on to explain how great a game it is for socializing, no matter what your age. The best players are mostly in their 20s and yet there seems to be an age gap where interest fades before older players come back in. Croquet, whether the golf variety played on clubs or in the back garden, or the more serious association croquet, is an easy game to start with, despite later complexities, and is a sociable and competitive sport in the one to participate

“Many people play golf and tennis, which is fashionable, but at the door is a game of strategy, tactics and technique that is highly competitive.” Jo concluded. “Did you know that as our cricketers plunged to disaster at the Ashes, Great Britain retained the MacRoberston Shield in Australia for the sixth year in a row? The event was a series of back-to-back Test matches contested by GB, Australia, New Zealand and the USA. USA and is Ashes’ own version of croquet.”

Even for those who play croquet in their backyard every weekend, there’s a National Championship especially for the outfielder. Can you think of another sport where you can go from your own turf to full-blown competition? Sports: Vicious is what I call him!