In May 2008 I went on vacation to Thailand with my dear friend, Nichola. We traveled there without a plan, a hotel room or any dollars converted to baht. Just a commitment to have an amazing time and return to Canada with as many unique experiences as possible. By the end of our visit, we achieved that goal and more.
Our trips included enjoying the nightlife and shopping in Bangkok, and the spectacular beaches of Ko Pha-ngan and Ko Samui. The most life-changing excursion for both Nichola and me was hiking in the northern hill country of Chiang Mai. It was in these hills that we each met tribal people, floated down the river on a bamboo raft, and went for a jungle ride on the back of an elephant.
Walking through the interior of the country to meet indigenous tribes still living in their ancient ways, was something that intrigued me for years. I was curious to see their surroundings, how they communicated with other tribes, and the general feeling of what it was like to go back in time. It meant a challenging climb up steep terrain with a backpack, eating unfamiliar food, drinking unfamiliar liquids, sleeping on plywood, being in the woods with wild animals, all this with my Thai guide, two men from Paris and two men from Italy, who were all absolute gentlemen. Two nights and three days in the jungle, I was in my glory! Nichola chose a group that was only one night in the woods. Thus, we had very different and unique experiences to share with each other upon our return.
One of my realizations was how families living in huts, farming the land and raising animals may have been living in ancient times, one element never changed, their exuberance to enjoy each other’s company and pride in their families. One assumption of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is that people are doing the best they can with the resources they have, and they did. I saw communities sharing resources, enjoying social moments together, and thriving in the lifestyle they were born into. I discovered that we were not different, our cores were the same. In the end, whether we make a living off the internet or a farm, drive a car, motorcycle or horse, reside in an industrialized mansion or a bamboo hut, we all eat, need shelter and have an instinctive need for love. . and fellowship
Even deeper was the conversation I had with my guide, Jip. He had a kind and gentle nature to his character. It was not a surprise to learn that he is on a monastic path to become a monk. On our first night at base camp, he encouraged me to go to the second fire pit that he sat in with just his mental energy. Feeling an undeniable urge, I joined him. Jip complimented me on listening to my intuition for how quickly I responded to his invitation.
We sat together for at least an hour as he shared his purpose for being together at that moment. Jip’s mentor advised him that he would have three students to cheer with on life’s journey; he believed that one of them was me. The words that he compassionately shared as we watched the fire dance in his pit were incredibly empowering. I was truly blessed to be in his presence.
These are some thoughts I wrote on a personal blog in January 2009.
And the journey begins. I truly believe that my trip to Thailand in May 2008 with Nichola changed me. It was the beginning of my journey of self-discovery in doing what I want; not what someone thinks, or suggests, it should be. That would normally be what one does from the start, not me. I chose the lazy route and continually went in the easy direction I was directed to. After a lifetime of doing it, I finally stopped. Thanks Jip. The conversation we had was powerful and left a definite impression on me. I will always appreciate it.
Jip helped me trust that I am a strong person and to listen to myself when looking for guidance. May my intuition be real and respect it. An inner power that unfolds in crazy directions as it grows without guidance. Jip’s mentor advised him that he would soon receive a student, someone to take to the next level. He trusted his instinct that he was me, as he shared his wisdom with my intuition. I appreciate and will honor the enlightenment you gave me, Kp pr koon.
Nichola had a different and exhilarating moment to share. He was so candid that he emailed this perspective to his circle of friends and family. Shared with permission, this is what she wrote:
Elephants… they are so amazing.
I was riding my elephant through the jungle. The trainer was yelling orders and hitting him over the head with a knife-like tool. The sound of the hollow skull of him being hit was unbearable to me.
At one point, the trainer dropped his sword by accident. The elephant was instructed to pick it up. He did, but then he threw it into the jungle. He was then instructed, again, to pick it up. He did, and then he threw it back into the jungle. And so it went on, several more times, until the trainer was forced to dismount and take it himself.
Smart, obedient, but fed up. That was my elephant. OK, maybe I’m anthropomorphizing, but I also thought this little guy had a good sense of humor. I started thinking about this elephant, who was clearly unhappy with his life. He wondered what was stopping him from running into the jungle.
They are kept tied with a small chain around their ankles that is barely attached to a small post in the sand. They are socialized from babies to believe that they cannot escape and eventually give up trying. They become adults and simply believe this to be true, although they can escape at any time.
I started to think that my experience with elephants is like a life experience… aren’t we all like elephants? Trapped by social and social constructs that we think we can’t escape?…I just thought I should share my madness with the world…
I was not an NLP Master Practitioner at the time and was flabbergasted at the possibility that she might be right and the inspiration I had just received from Jip was fading. How could this be after feeling so enlightened? Is it that we can only be a certain type of person in life? Once on one path, can we not deviate to another? If we have a fear, we have it for life. If we are taxi drivers, are we taxi drivers for life? That change is not a realistic dream and the freedom to do it is the same as a chain around an elephant’s ankle? That at any moment we can break with what keeps us tied and the only thing that stops us is our own mental process labeled as belief?
If I could go back to that point with the communication skills I have now, I would ask Nichola a series of questions typical of an NLP Breakthrough session; what in her life has a barrier similar to that of the elephant. I would also like to ask how that barrier is a problem. How long has it been a problem? When did this problem first start? Does this problem now? Who taught you that it was okay to have this problem? For what purpose or intention is this belief justified? I would repeat these questions until we figured out together what the root cause of that belief was.
Then, he would use a technique called decision destroyer by asking Nichola if that’s all she thinks it is. Aren’t you more than that? How else are you more than that, and how else again? I would confirm that she is more than that, and make sure to ask her that she knows it too. Lastly, she would ask how she now believes that she really is more than an elephant and how to break the chain that she is obviously capable of physically and mentally. How there is nothing to escape from, only yourself.
Social and societal constructions are labels that trap our beliefs to limit us and keep us from what we really want to do. I have decided not to be an elephant and persevere with the above questions every time I feel the chain around my ankle until I break it with my mental attitude. If I can do it, Nicholas can do it. she already has So you can, right?
As we boarded our plane back to Canada, Nichola and I agreed that Thailand was a mystical place that changed our perspectives, changed our thinking, beliefs, and behavior. We arrived without a plan, and oddly enough, headed home without one as well. As we remove our limiting beliefs and suppressive barriers, we have room to formulate new, improved, and exciting ones. It freed us to excel in our life paths. Isn’t that what we all want to aspire to? Start now.
