There are numerous misconceptions when it comes to divorce. Often times, situations that could be resolved amicably enough become highly controversial because one of the parties operates under the mistaken belief that the myth is actually reality. Below are three of the most common misconceptions.

UNLESS I HAVE CUSTODY, I WILL ONLY SEE MY CHILD ON WEEKENDS

I hear this often from clients, especially parents who are involved in their children’s lives and fear becoming the “weekend dad.” For some reason, the parties seem to think that their right to spend time with their children is “all or nothing.”

Regardless of whether there is a primary residence for the children, the parties, except in extraordinary circumstances, enjoy shared parental responsibility for their children. This means that both of you share equally not only the decisions that affect your children, but also the lives of your children. For example, if dad is the son’s baseball coach, the dad can continue to do so and can attend all baseball games regardless of where the son spends the night. Similarly, Mom can continue to participate in extracurricular activities, even if it’s Daddy’s weekend with the kids.

Rather than focusing on the percentage of time they spend with children, parties should consider your children’s schedules and the amount of quality time spent with children. Once the parties realize that neither of them will be excluded from their children’s lives, it is often easier to create a schedule that works for everyone, especially the children.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EVERYTHING

This happens in many cases where one spouse feels seriously harmed by the actions of the other and thinks they will receive the house, children, bank accounts, and anything else of value, while the other spouse will be awarded nothing but Shirt. your back and debts. This is not the case, as Florida is a no-fault divorce state. Unless there is a financial component to the infringement of one of the parties or another reason for not dividing assets and liabilities equally, a judge will make an equal or almost equal division of assets and liabilities. While there are many reasons for deviating from this, misconduct by one of the parties – that is, simply being a bad spouse – is not one of them.

WIFE ALWAYS KEEPS THE HOUSE

While it is true that a court will try not to disturb the lives of young children, it is not true that a judge automatically grants either party the marital home. If the house is the only significant asset, allowing one of the spouses to keep it would result in an unequal division of the parties’ assets and is an unlikely outcome. Also, in situations where it is not financially possible for either spouse to keep the home, the judge will likely order the sale of the home. Sadly, this is the reality in many situations where the parties, while still together, live beyond their means. If the parties cannot pay for the house while they are together, it is impossible for either party to pay for the house on their own.

In many divorce cases, these misconceptions often cause the parties to spend large sums of money in litigation, only to realize, days later and many dollars less, that the reality is very different from the legend of urban divorce.