We will be frank about it: we love football. But we also love peanut butter and bologna sandwiches. In other words, we accept the concept of “for each one, his own”. Still, peanut butter and bologna sandwiches are easier to avoid than those endless football games that haunt your TV screen week after week, month after month, for about half the year.
However, nothing will convince you to stop fighting him, learn to understand the game of soccer and cheer on the rest of them. Your mother always said you were stubborn. Of course, there is always a brunch with the girls, a mall cruise, or maybe a weekend on the islands.
Although, since the NFL football schedule lasts from the August preseason to the February Super Bowl, these options are likely to leave you penniless or homesick. Maybe both. And speaking of the last, stubborn soul that you are, it is very likely that you will resist being expelled from your home, islands or non-islands.
Do not be afraid. We have you covered.
First, you need to establish some ground rules. Soccer watchers are alone. They will have to get their own beers and phone the pizza man. Leaving you free to explore one or more of the following alternatives:
Y. . . well well. We know that you have absolutely and positively decided not to learn football. But, hey, wouldn’t it be fun if you learned enough to be able to walk around on TV in that NFL jersey and drop a comment that will scare them off?
Like, “They’ll never make the playoffs if they can’t convert in the red zone.” Or “Two feet and they won’t? You cowards!”
These are things you could learn during your first half jam session. Seriously.
Or hey, just enjoy the clay bag. And the olives.
