I get a lot of emails from women who want to “get back at” or “hurt” their husband’s mistress. Many ask me what is the most effective way to hurt this other woman. They want her to feel the pain they have felt and they want her to regret choosing her husband as her target. They want my advice on the best way to do this.

In response, I always have to say that I never feel it is in anyone’s best interest to try to physically hurt this woman. This will only bring up a whole new number of troubling issues, and will often only open new doors that won’t give you the closure you want, but instead bring a new batch of anger and regret. When coming up with a plan for how to negatively affect her, you should also consider what will affect you most positively.

Most women want to hurt this other person in an attempt to feel better. So you always want to think of yourself before you think of her. You don’t want to accumulate more pain by mistake in your attempts to get back at her. This is a right way and a wrong way to do this, in my opinion. I will discuss more about this matter in the following article.

Determining what the mistress wants most, and then trying to take those things from her to hurt her as a result: Let’s be smart with this. The first logical step is to determine what you want most and what you are most afraid of losing. Many times, the answer to this is going to be your husband. Now if you want to get him away from her will depend on how you feel about your marriage. Some wives want to preserve this at all costs and some women finally decide they can have the husband.

You will have to decide which category you fall into. If you fall into the category of wanting to save your marriage, then it stands to reason that what would hurt the mistress the most is for you and your husband to find a way to be happy again and have a strong marriage. The result of these two things will make her no longer in your life.

This is often what you fear the most. Sometimes she wants your husband to leave you and be with her. Foiling this plan is usually sweet revenge, but it is only healthy and beneficial for you if this is what you really want and you know it will be healthy for you. Your happiness is far more important than your revenge against her, which brings me to my next point.

Often creating your own happiness and the best life will be the best and most painful revenge against the mistress: Let’s think about this for a second. What kind of woman would need to take advantage of someone else’s husband? Probably someone who lacks self-esteem and desperately needs attention, right? We’re talking about someone who doesn’t have the greatest amount of integrity and grace (at least generally speaking). And we’re talking about someone who doesn’t have the higher standards and respect for boundaries that others have. place.

This person is potentially lacking in many ways. Many women fear that the mistress is superior to them in some way, but this is rarely true. We often talk about someone with a lot of problems and self-doubt. It is quite possible that he has created an image that exudes confidence, but this is often quite false and disingenuous. Sure, she wants to believe that she is special and unique, but it must certainly torment her to know that this relationship is not exclusive at all, and that she is her lover, not her wife.

And, when you handle yourself with integrity and grace, honestly, it irritates her even more. Many times, she wants nothing more than to know that she has caused you pain and self-doubt. Don’t give him this kind of power over you. The stronger you are, the weaker she becomes. Her well-being, her peace of mind, and her happiness will often irritate her more than anything she can say or do.

Honestly, engaging with her will often let you know that she has messed with you. If you can make her think that you and her husband are moving without a second thought, this will often be more painful for her than any plan she comes up with.

I know it is very tempting to want to confront her and cause her physical pain. But this almost never works out, nor does it usually give you the closure and relief you want. Instead, she just assures him that she has power over you. It is often much better to put her where she belongs, that she is out of your life and as far out of your mind as you can drive.