Did your ex boyfriend recently break up with you? Are you constantly thinking of new things to say or do, wondering “how can I get my ex back”? Worried about how to get him to love you again? Here are some things you can try.

Have you been calling your ex constantly? Have you been crying on his voicemail about how much you miss him? Do you text him multiple times a day? Trying to make him feel sorry for you won’t make him want you. It will only make him see you as a pathetic person over whom he has total control. You do not want that! You never want someone else to have all the power in the relationship. Stop calling and texting him now.

Use this time to focus on self-improvement. No matter how difficult it is to focus on your ex, you should be the one thing that you are focusing on and pushing yourself on. Improve your life in any way possible. Do you need to lose 10 pounds? Focus your efforts on that. Is your car, your closet and your life in general a mess? Clean it up. Stay busy in a positive way.

Don’t call your ex while concentrating on yourself. Resist the urge to call and tell him that you are going to lose weight. Do it yourself.

Start a walking or running program, find a new hobby, or try something new. Just do anything new that can keep you busy in a productive way.

Once you stop calling him, your ex will have a chance to miss you. You will start to wonder why you stopped calling. You will spend a lot of time wondering who or what is keeping you busy.

When your ex calls, be brief. During your first phone calls with him (after a couple of months of no contact), be nice but not flirtatious. You want me to think that you are busy and happy. Do not give too much personal information. Keep the conversation light and pleasant. In other words, play a little hard to get. Don’t overdo it. If it’s too hard to come by, he may feel like he has no chance and give up.

This should help you take the first steps toward success when you ask yourself, “How do I get my ex back?” Once he starts calling you and showing interest, it’s time to put your plan into action.