Male chastity contracts: do you need one? They are useful? What needs to go in one if you decide to have one?

All typical of the questions I get about them.

The thing is, there is no “correct” answer except the one that works for both.

John, my husband and I had one for a while, but for various reasons it fell by the wayside, because John gave me full control, which means it can be summed up in just two words: “Sarah Decides.”

But other than that, are male chastity contracts necessary?

And again, I don’t know.

As always, it depends on the individuals in a given relationship and what they want and expect from it.

If we put its usefulness aside for a moment, I can see the attraction of one, especially for a man, because it formalizes the delivery of his orgasm and in that sense adds another layer of fantasy to the game.

You can laugh (and probably will if the idea of ​​a contract doesn’t resonate with you), but it’s almost like having a “law” that your wife or girlfriend can “enforce.”

Don’t underestimate the power of a male chastity contract to thrill and arouse your man.

But they also have real utility, especially in the early days of the game, when perhaps the woman (in particular) isn’t sure of herself: she has a set of (almost) objective and mutually agreed-upon rules that she can use to guide her own decisions. answers. and actions, which can be helpful particularly when she is having some unwieldy emotional reactions to her man’s apparent discomfort, distress, and sexual needs.

However, I found that after a while it maybe becomes unnecessary and even restrictive. You find yourself having to break or modify the contract (unless you write it to allow wide discretionary powers in the first place). Again, there is nothing wrong with this and for some people it will work fabulously and even increase their pleasure.

My gut, and I stress that I tend to try not to think with my gut because it is a notoriously bad thinker in all of us, will generally be more commonly used where there is an element of dominance and submission.

It just kind of has that flavor to it, and I know this won’t always be the case because John and I have one, but we’re not into the BDSM element at all.

And of course some people are against the idea of ​​a male chastity contract. They feel it’s too restrictive and limits a woman’s options, and if she’s in control of her, why is she limited by contract?

Again, I agree. Hence my comments about how ours has been largely forgotten and can be summed up in those two wonderful words I mentioned: “Sarah Decide.”

Ultimately, it just depends on what you want and how you feel about it. If you want a male chastity contract, have one. If you’re worried about what to put in it and looking for the “right way” to do it, then you’re already falling into the trap set for you by the chastity Taliban.

It’s your contract and it governs how you and your partner will interact with each other, so you write it any way you want. I know some people like it to read like it was written by a lawyer, full of words like so far, then and first part of second part, and while I think it’s a bit silly (I think it’s silly in actual contracts , also, because there is no reason not to write legal documents in plain language), it is entirely up to you.

What I do warn you about (men and women, but especially men) is to simply write one down and drop it in front of your partner, thinking this will count as a “gentle introduction” to your desire to play this kinky game.

I promise you that you will almost certainly not get the answer you want. On the one hand, their male chastity contract will likely be seen as a list of demands, and if this is the first thing they’ve heard about it, they’re going to be pretty weird about it. In law, a contract must meet three criteria before it can be considered legally binding: it must have full disclosure, consideration, and consent.

So discuss the terms and give her (or him) time to think things through.

Oh what a surprise…we are talking about the need for a lot of open, honest and clear communication again.

How boring!

But you can not neglect the basic rules.

Virtually without exception, every time I get an email from someone who has faced practical and emotional problems playing the chastity game with their wives it’s because they didn’t take the time to get the ground rules right, so every one of them is not quite right. sure of what the other wants or expects.

I guess if you’re going to play this game, you’re going to want to play it in a way that you both enjoy, right?