It was a great experience growing up in Nigeria, West Africa, over forty years ago. My parents, especially my late dad, were very strict with the girls. I remembered several times when he disciplined me for coming home late. Honestly those days I thought everything was abuse. Now I know that it was all for my good and that my parents really love me. He was respectful and afraid of them at the same time.

Now, coming to the United States with my children, I knew I needed help raising them the right way. I also discovered that since spanking is not legal, there has to be a better way to raise my children. The first person that came to mind was God, who is the Author of wisdom and understanding. I came to understand that it will only take the creator of children (God) to maintain what he has created just as car dealerships are best at maintaining the cars they invented.

A few months ago I took a beautiful woman and her precious daughter. As I was driving I realized that the five-year-old’s nickname, Sofia, controlled her mother’s nickname, Maria, all the time. She wanted to turn on the air, a few seconds later she yelled at her mom to turn off the air, she wanted to roll down the windows and we did. But once again, Sofía yelled at her mother, telling her that she wanted to go home. I was very moved to ask Sofia’s mom if everything was okay with Sofia. And she with tears of pain in her eyes she replied: “I am tired of this child. I can never please her. I can’t even tell her what to do and she is only five years old.”

After asking Mary a few questions, I found out that Mary has contributed to Sofia’s bad behavior because at the beginning of the same behavior, Mary sympathized with him. There was no discipline. In truth, no parent should, under any circumstances, condole with such behavior. The moment I met her, Mary and her daughter Sofia hers stopped visiting family and friends due to Sofia’s uncontrollable and embarrassing behavior. My heart bled for Mary and her only daughter as she passionately said a heartfelt prayer for them and encouraged Mary not to give up on Sofia. Which means that Mary has to believe that change is possible. She has to start doing something new. “To start talking about life.”