Step one: collect information. Write down as many personal notes about the deceased as possible. Look photos. Flipping through photo albums can remind you of important qualities and memories of the person who died. Answer a few questions: What made your loved one really happy? What inspired you to write this eulogy? What were your loved one’s passions? What will you remember most about this person? Keep in mind that a eulogy is not a biography, but rather your personal thoughts and memories from his point of view. You may want to ask your coworkers, friends, and others for their stories and memories. You should see some repetition in your notes and this will lead you to the main topic.

Step two: Start organizing your content. Summarize the praise in these steps:

I. A beginning to establish your theme.

II. A middle section to develop your theme with personal stories, information, quotes, comments, sayings, poems and other content. This information should make up 90% of the praise.

third A brief conclusion to summarize your thoughts and restate your theme.

Step Three: Work on the middle section first (Part II). Once you have this part, the beginning and summary will be easy. Develop the outline by grouping similar themes from your Step 1 notes. For example, you might want to bring together all the achievements. Combine comments on the deceased person’s philosophy of life.

Step Four: Organize the conclusion (Part III). A conclusion reminds listeners of the topic and conveys the strong feeling you have about the loss. The key is to conclude effectively and quickly.

Here’s an example:

“We will all miss Jackie’s sense of humor, her talent for knowing what’s really important in life, and her famous chocolate chip cookies” (a little humor doesn’t hurt as long as it doesn’t offend anyone).

“His example lives on as an inspiration for all of us to follow.”

Step Five: Write the beginning of the eulogy (Part 1). This usually starts with an attention getter. It will establish the theme and can be in the form of a story, a poem, a saying, the lyrics of a song. You will present the objective and theme you used when you started the process.

Sixth step: polish it. Your best bet is to get away from him for a few hours or overnight if possible. Work on it so that it sounds like a conversation. You want to speak to your audience as naturally as possible.

Key tip:

Step Seven: Deliver the eulogy. While speakers typically don’t read word for word, because you’re likely to get emotional, don’t be afraid to read word for word. This way, you won’t miss any key points that you or others might want to say.

If making eye contact with audience members will excite you, try keeping your eyes on the page or looking just above the audience towards the back of the room.

Feel free to pause, take a deep breath, and drink some water. Everyone will understand. They are also emotionally distracted.

Speak as naturally as possible, as if you were telling someone about your loved one. Talk loud. It is very important that you speak clearly and loudly so that everyone can hear you.

Keep the written eulogy as a keepsake. You can add it to your memory chest and share it with others who want a copy.

By following these steps, writing and delivering a eulogy will be less stressful and more of a healing process.