More than any other knight at King Arthur’s round table, Sir Gawain epitomized romance and chivalry. The story of Sir Gawain and the Disgusting Lady is surprisingly modern in its wisdom and worth retelling here:
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, King Arthur was riding with Sir Gawain when they came to the rescue of a damsel in distress. To free the lady, King Arthur fought a black knight with supernatural powers. And he lost. He was no match for the knight’s black magic. The black knight spared Arthur’s life only at the behest of the witch he served. The witch made a deal with Arthur: “Answer this question or you will lose your life in a year. What do women want most?”
What do women want the most? Sir Gawain and Arthur were puzzled by the question as they returned to Camelot. Arthur and Gawain questioned the ladies of the court, their maids, the women of the neighboring towns, the countryside, and all the wisest people they could gather. Each had a different answer: money. Love. Energy. Beauty. Can. Youth. Castles Service. Kids. Great sex. Thin thighs. Pierce Brosnan.
The year passed without Arthur getting any closer to answering the riddle. And so it was with great regret that Arthur and Gawain returned to meet death in the castle of the black knight, a year after the riddle was posed. Throughout their journey, a repulsive old witch stood in their way and did not let them pass. This disgusting lady was the most disgusting creature he had ever seen: she farted and burped; his face was stained with hairy moles, broken brown teeth, watery bloodshot eyes, matted, greasy hair that had never been washed, and he had a short, twisted body with lumps and protrusions in alarming places. She sucked.
“I have the answer you want,” he hissed.
“Who are you?” Gawain asked, “What answer?”
“What women want. I am Ragnell, and I will save the king’s life for a price.”
“If your answer is true, you can have anything you want,” Arthur promised.
“Women want sovereignty over themselves. They want to make their own decisions,” Ragnell snorted. “And my price is to marry a gentleman of your court!”
Arthur got sick with this trick. Marrying one of your men to this hideous thing! But he was caught up in his promise.
“I will marry you,” Gawain said. “If Arthur lives, you will be my wife.”
Of course Arthur lived. The answer was true. Gawain, true to his word, married the filthy Ragnell. The wedding party watched in horror as the bride burped, scratched, drool, and laughed out loud throughout the wedding feast. She told obscene stories that would make a rake blush. Everyone felt sorry for poor Gawain.
Poor brave Gawain climbed the steps of his bridal chamber to consummate the infernal marriage. He shuddered as he contemplated touching, much less mating, with this monstrous woman. And there she was, leering at him as he walked into the room. “Hold me, husband!”
And Gawain, always true to his word, took the bride in his arms. He found that he was holding a gloriously beautiful young woman. She had silky hair and a creamy complexion. His body was lithe and his eyes sparkled with adoration.
“Who are you?” Gawain asked as he looked around the room for his wife.
“I am your wife,” he smiled. “I was cursed to be how you knew me until I could win a true knight in marriage. You can have me as I am by night or by day, but I must revert to my witch form at those other times. Do you prefer how I am at night, when Am I in your arms? Or do you choose me to be beautiful by day, when your friends see me? “
Gawain thought for a long time. Finally he replied: “” This is your life. This should be your choice. It’s up to you. “
And at that moment the spell was broken. Her gift of choice granted her complete freedom from the curse and the return of her natural beauty.
Lady Ragnell is, of course, the goddess herself. Gawain surrenders to his goddess three times in this story: he volunteers to marry her as an old woman, accepts her terrifying embrace as a wife, and agrees to his decision as a maiden.
The goddess shows her witch’s face in our lives as those ugly or terrifying events that we wish to reject. Wealth, health, happiness and home crises are how we experience the gifts of the old woman.
How do you respond to the old woman’s call?
You can hide and let her chase you. Or you can surrender to her embrace and discover the opportunity that she has disguised. The gift can take a long time to reveal. Ragnell tested Gawain several times before he revealed his reward.
At the heart of every challenge is that loving choice that your soul made, when you knew your unity with the divine, to play this game of life and recognize the Lady in all aspects.
