I’m supposed to focus on her driving.

Although it is difficult. Every time I look to my left and see who’s behind the wheel, I can’t help but think of that little brown-eyed baby we used to call mush face.

She can’t really be driving a car, can she? She is too young, too naive. I mean, wasn’t it yesterday that we were rereading Miss Rumphius for the fifth time, playing Connect Four for hours, and making cinnamon buns for the playgroup?

I watch for a few brief moments as he navigates down the path and marvel at the transformation that has recently taken place. Parents, take note: something significant and life-changing takes place between the 16th and 17th year of a daughter’s life.

Amidst the many pivotal events of the past year: furlough, boyfriend, independent trip to distant lands, and decision to switch high schools in her junior year, the “girl” transformed into the beginning of a “woman.” – in mind, body and spirit.

Our once uncomplicated conversations have suddenly turned into healthy discussions about politics, religion, and sex. It’s hard to keep up. Sometimes it feels “inappropriate” as if he wanted to exclaim: “she Wait a minute, she’s just a little girl, we shouldn’t be talking about these things”. So, after taking a good look, I remember: the girl has grown up.

I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, this is the same girl who, while shopping with me at the tender age of six, answered my question if she would like one of the shampoos with the plastic Winnie the Pooh head on top by saying, “Oh Mom, you know they just put them in the shampoo for you to buy.” I mean, she was wise beyond her years even then. Yet she could still braid her hair, cuddle her at bedtime, and push her on the swings in Central Park.

All of these thoughts materialize in the span of a few seconds before I’m whisked out onto the road, which is a good thing because, despite my daughter’s growing maturity, being her passenger has caused me to seriously question the point of being of legal driving age. .

As we practice driving, begin our college search, and learn to navigate these different but exciting roles, it can be hard to stay present, to stop marveling at what the heck just happened in what seems like the blink of an eye. She was the first, our introduction to parenthood, the one I was able to spend hours cuddling alone in our one-bedroom apartment while Dad was at work and the brothers hadn’t arrived yet.

However, if I am to allow her to become who she is meant to be, I must be willing and able to evolve along with her. If we as parents persist in seeing them as they were rather than as they are, we risk missing out on who they will be and also who we can become. Children are not the only ones who continue to grow.

Idealizing the early days of parenting is just as easy as in many cases those days were in fact “ideal.” Still, even though I get bumpy at times, I’m actually enjoying this foray into uncharted territory. Time to fasten my seat belt, hold my breath and let her take the wheel.