How do you recognize when trauma is a threat to your child’s life? What becomes the tipping point in a child or young adult and how can you help? The small disappointments typical of an adult can become a reason for a suicide attempt in a child over eight years of age and, above all, in an adolescent. Acne, a broken heart, the loss of a grandparent, parent or friend, exclusion from the team, failed SATs, a drug bust or arrest are so traumatic for a young person that parents should pay close attention.
Stress is a general pressure on your body that is like running an engine without a break. Eventually the weakest place will start to fail. As the body’s production of hormones, brain chemicals, and metabolism are affected, so is the thought process. A child, who has far less experience and vision to see stress and disappointment as a transitory part of life, can ruminate and obsess to no end. Before your eyes, they may already be on their way to mental illness because they refuse to eat mandatory mental health foods like vegetables and fruits or rest their minds by sleeping 8-10 hours a night. Add worry or shock to this combination and you can get a really stinky thought. Add drugs or alcohol to further depress them and suicide seems like an option in a child who would never have thought of it before.
Children and adolescents often believe that they must find a solution to their problems immediately, not realizing that time often heals most pain. A boy will try to reduce the pain he feels and will soon become her most important target. With their limited life experience, they cannot conceive of an end to their grievance or know that they will soon recover.
If your child takes a life blow, assume the worst and act like you want to give up and not live another moment. He tries to listen to all the drama from him without escalating emotionally. They need a constant helper, not additional harsh treatment, fear or hysteria. This is the wrong time to scold, “he Takes your punches like a man!” as your father told you. Instead, take care of them and take them out for ice cream, even if they are 24 years old. Spend a lot of time with them, even taking a sick day off work to go fishing or shopping. Your constant company will help them gain the necessary perspective that life moves on even after heartbreak, rejection, or failure.
Until you die, there’s always another chance to be who you want to be, find the right one, or make up for past mistakes. Life is never a waste. Teach your child to value her life and promise her a chance in the future to make up for her loss. Whatever affected and hurt them today could be bad enough to kill them, even if you think it’s a small problem. You must take them seriously. Some kids keep it all. The less they talk and act like it’s no big deal, the more likely they are faking it and feeling very different on the inside. If you’re scared for them, take them to a great professional therapist who can teach them how to survive life’s ups and downs. Above all, your job as a good parent is to show them some love and respect for their grief now, rather than later.
