There are 6 grievance recovery fundamentals, which are very important to the grieving process. Most people try to avoid them without knowing that they are delaying their healing and moving forward into the future.

Let us discuss them and assess your situation if you are grieving to see if you are or can implement any of these six criteria to recover from your grievance.

Weather

We all need time to grieve, but how long it takes depends on each individual. No one can accurately predict how long it will take to heal the grievance. Your friends and family can anticipate and wait for a certain time frame. You may be tempted to set the same expectations they have for you, but if you try to please others, your grief will not resolve and you will find yourself confused and unable to move on. You will feel anger, guilt, or depression if you are unable to finish the grieving process. Take the time to grieve for your loved one until you feel comfortable.

tears

Tears are part of the healing process, so allow yourself to cry as much as you want. Let the tears flow and cleanse yourself of all the emotional baggage that grief brings. If you can’t cry in public, find a safe place like your home or an assisted living facility or in your car. Get someone on the phone who will listen to your pain and validate your tears. It is so amazing how many tears we use during grievance. We can cry over simple things, so make sure you drink more water because tears tend to dehydrate you.

Speak

I can’t say this enough. Talk as much as you can about the memories you have of your loved one; especially the good ones. Find people who will listen to you and understand your complaint. A complaint support group is a good place to start. Talking helps you to realize the impact and reality of his death and to accept the fact of the finality of his death. Most people feel very uncomfortable mentioning their loved one, but be sure to make it known that you want to talk about your loved one because this is what will help you the most.

Play

You will miss the hugs, caresses, kisses and affection of your loved one. You will build a wall around yourself to keep out other people who want to show you affection. You may find hugs repulsive and feel guilty about having someone show you kindness through a hug or kiss on the cheek. Drop that barrier. Accept the kindness that others want to share with you. Let yourself be pampered. Don’t be defensive. You deserve to be hugged and comforted after going through such a loss. If you’re lonely and without family, arrange for a friend to give you a “healing hug” if you seem or feel like you need one. Grieving children need lots of hugs to make sure they are still loved.

Confidence

Trust yourself to know that you will recover from your wrong. You may begin to question your trust in God and his spirituality. You will feel anger against God. You are in a stage of rediscovering yourself and how you will handle the future. You don’t have to be alone in the decisions you have to make, but if you are alone, trust your instincts and ask for help when you don’t know what to do.

Canvas

Everyone grieved in different ways. Grieving is hard work. It’s like painting. It takes a lot of energy out of you. You will feel fatigue, struggle, difficulty and lack of motivation to continue with life. You will need to eat healthy, exercise and take good care of your own well-being. Recognize that recovery from grief will take effort on your part, but accepting support can help you not feel like you’re trying so hard.

Be sure to administer some or all of the six T’s of grief recovery to make your life easier and your healing faster for a life of peace and renewal.