February is the month of love. It even includes an entire day that is set aside simply for the purpose of making grand gestures of romance and love. Valentine’s Day has been around for centuries.
An origin story of Valentine’s Day dates back to the third century AD Father Valentine, a Roman priest, defied what he believed to be an unjust law of his day that prohibited marriage and secretly married young lovers. For this he was sentenced to death, was martyred two centuries later, and became one of the most popular saints in France and Italy.
LOVE
This thing called love is getting more and more attention in almost all areas of life. Spiritual traditions have long affirmed that love is at the center of healing and happiness. Philosophers have written about three types of love called eros, agape, and philia. Medical research has produced scientific findings that love improves our health: it changes us on a cellular level, improves our immune and cardiovascular systems, and increases our endorphins. A recent Oprah show featured a group of middle-aged women who attributed their vitality and success to doing what they love. And the Law of Attraction, which is rapidly gaining attention, identifies love as a high-energy emotion that transforms not only the “lover,” but also those near and far. It also has the greatest power of attraction of any energy.
ROMANCE
Since it’s February, I want to talk about the love that is celebrated in February, love that is distinguished by the “big R word” – Romance. As I write this, I remember that I don’t hear or read much about romance anymore, except for a week or two around Valentine’s Day. I think something is friends. Who, if you’re truly honest with yourself, doesn’t want more romance in your life?
Think about it. Romance is romance because of a variety of delightful qualities, such as genuine curiosity, adoring attention, the expression of deep affection, and passionate emotional involvement. Pretty good so far, don’t you think? There is more. Romance is full of charm and emotion. There is play, intense pleasure, deep interest and adoration. In romance, the best of oneself naturally shines, as well as the ability to see the magnificence in another. As I hope you know, there is a great deal of energy in romance: energy of vitality, passion, and liveliness. Now I ask you again, “Who wouldn’t want more of that?” If you’re counting, count on me.
HOW TO HAVE MORE
The next question becomes “how?” Before I answer this question, I want to remind you that any “great” relationship requires several things, one of which is romance. Now back to the question at hand: “What does it take to have more romance in my relationships?” First, let’s get back to Valentine’s wisdom. He followed his heart, not the dictates of something he didn’t believe in. So follow his heart’s desires, rather than the “should” commands. Second, he chooses to “become the Cupid of your own life.” Cupid, the winged Roman god of love, who fired his arrows of desire at unsuspecting people, has long been a symbol of Valentine’s Day. Like Cupid, you can shoot your arrows wherever you want. What relationship in your life would you like to infuse with more romance?
There’s the obvious area of intimate relationships, whether it’s with a long-term partner or spouse, someone you’re dating, or maybe even someone you’re interested in but haven’t told them yet. Is there still romance in your marriage or long-term relationship? If so, be thankful for it every day and keep doing what you’re doing to keep the romance alive. If not, let this month of love be the month to reclaim and reignite the playful, passionate vivacity of romance with some gesture that lets your partner know you “see” and adore them. You can even do this with someone you are dating or start with someone you are interested in. And there is always the long-stemmed red rose, always the symbol of love and romance. Whatever you do, do it authentically – put your playful, thoughtful and passionate heart into it!
What about your business or career? Could it be time to start having a romance with your job or your business? Spend some time here with your full attention, appreciation and curiosity. What is one passionate action that would create a spark in this area of your life? Do it for Valentine’s Day. What is the particular charm or uniqueness of your work or business, even if it is inactive at the moment? Highlight that in your planning and next steps.
There are many relationships in your life that could be transformed with a little romance besides the ones I’ve already mentioned, even those with money and time to get started. They all have a common denominator: you. Maybe now is the time to start a “serious” romance with yourself? How much adoring attention, genuine curiosity, and deep interest do you have in yourself? When was the last time you took the time to “see” who you really are and what is most important to you, or consciously indulged yourself with pleasure? Pull out your calendar and highlight a night or afternoon during the week of Valentine’s Day where you’ll treat yourself to a romantic date with “you” to do, be, or have whatever catches your eye. And then make it a habit.
THE THREE M’S OF ROMANCE
Romance requires you to take your time, slow down, and pay attention. And if romance catches your eye, remember that what you pay attention to grows stronger in your life.
I want to leave you with the three “M’s” of romance: magic, mystery, and miracles. These have to be present for a true romance to happen. While science continually strives to “know” and find answers or reasons for everything in life, I invite you to also allow for the magic, mystery, and miracles that provide so much of the spice in life and romance in love. Be sure to invite them to the Romance Dance!
Enjoy this month, and beyond, the romance. And remember, you are natural! You are brilliant! You are magnificent! Just for being you. Let your light shine!
If you’d like to talk with me about connecting with your passion and creating a life and business you love, call today for a free 30-minute consultation at 617-524-6153.
