Overcoming the insidious paralysis of perfectionism helps you in many ways. So here I am going to share 5 action-oriented suggestions that you can apply immediately to eradicate the perfectionism that is holding you back.
I hope you enjoy exploring these experiential opportunities as you learn new and exciting things about yourself.
1. Perfectionism is a learned attribute that you can unlearn.
You were not born a perfectionist. You learned the perfectionistic behavior of others and you can unlearn it now.
The next time you hear your perfectionist voice, identify the original source, if you can. Was it because of your family constellation or how you saw people outside of your family react? Or was it based on someone you modeled for?
Visualize these perfectionist messages in a heavy bag of expectations that you received, that you can now leave behind.
2. When perfectionism leads to procrastination, replace it with a “better than perfect” goal.
Inevitably, perfectionism will stop you from trying something, because you fear not doing it well enough. Remember, it is your own standards that are unrealistically high. If you feel stuck on a project, try to replace high expectations with a productive stretch, and then identify your next action step.
3. Release the bonds of perfectionism by naming the fear that serves as the lock.
Tyrannical perfectionism arises and generates destructive fears. Identify the specific concerns that limit you. Are you afraid of failure or worried about what will happen if you succeed? The level of control that perfectionism promises is illusory. See if you can identify the illusions and replace them with realistic alternatives.
4. You don’t need to victimize yourself with your own success.
Once you’ve succeeded at a task, you may feel like you have to meet higher and higher standards. This is sometimes called “raising the bar syndrome.” Each effort leads only to demands for greater effort, until finally you are met with impossible challenge and inevitable defeat. Affirm that you remain fully in charge of your time and your goals, even as you move toward a higher level of effectiveness.
5. Make friends with your mistakes.
Perfectionists often judge mistakes as bad. Actually, mistakes present a valuable avenue for evolution. If you don’t risk enough to make these mistakes, how are you going to learn? Allow yourself the freedom to participate wholeheartedly and enjoy the thrill of discovery!
Finally, acknowledge that your perfectionism is part of a deeply personal story that you are now free to rewrite. It derives ALL its power from the meaning you attribute to it. The more you de-emphasize “perfection” symbolically, the less power perfectionism has over you.
To expose the false promises of your perfectionism, complete these sentences.
1. Doing something perfectly means that I am _______________________.
2. When I don’t do something perfectly, then __________________.
3. The burden of perfectionism is _____________________________.
And finally, here is a short exercise to overcome perfectionism:
1. Make a list of 2 things you can do right now to reduce your perfectionism.
_____________________________ ____________________________
2. Describe how your life will change if you reduce your perfectionism. What will the profits be?
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