If I asked you if you wanted a million dollars or to experience lasting inner peace, what would you choose? If you are looking for inner peace, read on. This article outlines the top five ways that have helped me transform my life. To be honest, I don’t feel inner peace all the time, but I have learned by following one or all of these five paths at any time, how to get out of discomfort, sadness, anger, unhappiness in seconds.
1) Trust your intuition
Trust that your inner guidance on any subject provides you with the perfect answer. There is a part of you that is connected to the bigger picture, the Universe, Source, God, whatever you prefer to call it. I refer to this as his Higher Self. And this Higher Self or gut instinct, sixth sense, intuition knows what is best for you at all times. Learn to trust this voice unconditionally and you will feel greater peace because you instinctively avoid situations that you would rather not experience.
To give an example, imagine that you are about to book a vacation and have an uneasy feeling about the location, the accommodation, the flight, the date, or anything else related to the vacation. Don’t ignore this feeling. It’s your inner radar telling you that vacations aren’t aligned with the best possible outcome for you. Listen carefully to what aspect you feel sensitive to and change it, for example, the date, the destination, the accommodation, etc. until everything feels right.
Your intuition guides you on any aspect of your life, whether related to relationships, money, work, health, hobbies, travel, etc. It always works in your own interest. To learn to trust your intuition, make notes of the situations in which you trust your intuition and the associated outcome. Also make notes of the situations where you chose not to follow your inner guidance and write down the result as well. Over time, you will soon realize that your intuition is worth following.
Tip: Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between your intuition and the voice in your head, your ego or conscious mind. Your intuition is the first feeling or thought that comes to you, before you have occupied your head and started to analyze a situation. Sometimes it only lasts for a flash of a second. If you’re really not sure whether your intuition or your head is guiding you, take the next step in the process and see how you feel then. For example, if you’re looking to book a vacation, do some more research on vacations and picture yourself there. If you still have a jittery or twitching feeling, follow this guide and change your plans. This is your intuition speaking and it will warn you along the way!
2) Stay in charge of your emotions
Contrary to popular belief, your emotions and feelings do not belong to you. You can decide and choose how you want to feel at any given moment. Once you realize this, experiment with it and continually challenge yourself to feel more positive at any moment, your life will transform.
To feel peace, make an effort to improve your negative emotions at any time. Don’t try to go from feeling down to being the happiest person in the world. Take small steps to go from feeling depressed to feeling a little better, and then a little more. Consciously choose a happy thought that leads to a happy feeling. Please note that this choice is in your power.
It is not easy to change the negative feelings that you carry with you for a long time. Start practicing with feelings that you can change more easily. Only you can determine what those situations and feelings are. To give you an example, for me personally driving is a challenge to stay in a state of peace. I get really irritated by cars driving too close to me because I’ve had several accidents where others hit my car. Now, whenever someone drives too close to me, I consciously use it as an opportunity to change my feeling of fear and anger to a more peaceful feeling.
3) Be authentic
Being authentic means following who you are and what you prefer in each moment. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, ever! You are not on this planet to climb to number 10 on the chart of most popular person, richest person, most beautiful person, or most intelligent person. You are here to experience life, play with it, have fun and express who you are, whatever that means to you personally.
Every day we are bombarded by many external messages through the media and other people telling us who we should be. These messages give us the impression that without living up to these artificial ideals, we are less than those around us. Most of us unconsciously and consciously follow these messages to some degree and constantly struggle and strive to live up to these images. The pressure to be different from who we really are begins during early childhood. Our school system is designed to rate each of us and put us in boxes. I don’t want to attack the school system. But consider the pressure we are under from a young age that tells us we are not good enough. We’re not given much freedom to be who we are, even if that means average or failing grades, not being top of the class, not living up to the talents of other kids.
Being authentic means following your passion, being who you are and choosing to be you in every moment. There is no need to be anyone else. You don’t have to accumulate material possessions or force your body into an unnatural shape to ‘be someone’. You are already everything you are meant to be. And you are perfect in your own unique way. Once you understand this about yourself, you will automatically accept everyone around you for who they are. You will notice how judging another person becomes much more difficult and less natural because you realize that everyone else has the same right to express themselves as they are.
I am an introvert and I don’t usually talk easily with strangers. I’m certainly not the bubbly, outgoing person who often watched and envied from a distance. I remember a guy who broke up with me because ‘I never said anything’. And for a long time afterward, I was acutely aware of my introverted nature. I thought that something was wrong with me, some part of my personality had not developed properly. This continued into my career, I used to cringe when I heard the words ‘let’s do some networking’. And then I realized that it’s okay, I’m not weird. There are other qualities that I have. I am a good listener and when I speak, I usually have something meaningful to say. The pressure that came down on me when I got good enough to be myself was fantastic.
Let go of the belief and pressure that you have to change or be different. Instead, learn more about yourself. Find out what brings passion to your life. Experiment with who you are and once you start being authentic, you will soon gain more courage to continue on this path for the rest of your life.
4) Be in the moment
We spend a lot of time thinking about the past or the future. I find it a challenge to stay in this moment. However, there are so many remarkable benefits if you choose to be in the moment. Most of your worries about the future turn out to be unfounded. Those who find themselves clinging to the past often focus on the negative. This is useless as the past is the past. You can’t change it. By focusing on being here now, you will automatically radiate the highest proportion of worry, anxiety, fear, and sadness in your life.
Being in the moment, truly focusing on what is here now in front of you, makes the world brighter and lighter. The colors become more intense. Suddenly the things you thought were important become small and insignificant. That you value the time you spend with your loved ones or the time you dedicate to your hobbies and passions.
It can take some practice to be in the moment because we are so used to thinking about the future or remembering the past. The easiest technique I have come across is to focus on your breath. Feel your lungs expand and contract with each breath. After 10 breaths or so, you will feel a change in your perception of your immediate surroundings. You can also focus on a relaxing sound, such as the wind or soft music. Anything you can actively participate in through your senses brings you into the moment. Living in the moment will enrich your life because you are present here and now. You participate in your own life instead of watching it from a distance as if it were a soap opera on television.
I get involved in the moment as a form of meditation and calm. Or I use the technique if my mind is overwhelmed with worry and I can’t stop the negative thoughts running through my head. I’m just wondering if I’m okay right now, and 99% of the time the answer is ‘yes’.
Tip: If your head keeps spinning with thoughts and you can’t stop them, just acknowledge them and let them go. Do not try to force yourself to stop thinking, it is impossible. Don’t feel bad if you don’t master the timing to start. It can take practice and patience to get there.
5) Love yourself
This may sound corny to some of you, but loving yourself is the most basic and important step in finding inner peace. If you love yourself, you accept and respect yourself. Whatever other people say to you, or how they treat you, becomes unimportant because you no longer trust anyone else’s judgment. You are already in tune with your truth and recognize that you are perfect in the way you are. If you love yourself, you no longer depend on the love of other people to feel complete. Your relationships take a new turn because you feel free from the pressure of having to be or do things to gain someone else’s approval and love. Instead, you can be free to be who you are with the other person. Magically, if you love yourself, you will find it much easier to love everyone and everything around you. If you have children, loving yourself will teach them one of the most important things in life that will give them a solid platform to develop: it will be perfectly normal for them to love themselves because they are watching you do the same.
Loving yourself can seem selfish or self-centered. However, unless you love yourself first, how can you expect someone else to love you? If you don’t think you’re worthy of love, why would anyone else?
Tip: self love can be trained. All that is needed is 5 to 10 minutes each day. I learned this ‘mirror dialogue’ technique from Dr. Barbara Rose:
Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. The eyes are the doors of the soul so that you can communicate with your own being. Then think of three observable positive actions you have taken during the day before or today. Say these actions out loud and what quality in you they express. For example, if you held the door open for someone in a store, your statement would be: I was helping today when I held the door open for the person behind me in the store. Maybe you were on time for a meeting. So your statement would be: I was being responsible and trustworthy when I got to the meeting on time.
Most likely, the first few times you do this you will feel very strange and everything inside you will rebel against doing it. But stick with it. Do it anyway. It is a technique that will help you speed up loving yourself 100 times and more. It is a proven technique that has helped me and many others. Keep it for at least 6 months. Soon after you start doing this, you’ll start to feel much better about yourself.
None of these paths to inner peace are secrets. Many authors, coaches, and even scientists have written tons of material on these topics; which shows that there is something right about them! From my own experience, I can share that it is a lifelong process to integrate these techniques and make them part of who you are. But once you get started, you’ll be amazed at the quick and encouraging changes you’ll see in your life. And soon you will notice how much calmer you feel when situations that in the past would have made your blood boil, only make you smile at your progress.
