Welcome to the panic room. It is more of a state of mind than an actual room and generally infects the parents of college-going students as their children enter their junior or senior year of high school; the looming college selection cloud and the daunting task of how the heck to manage college expenses without destroying retirement.

Interestingly, there is a very logical approach to this overwhelmingly expensive and complex task, which can take much of the pain and anxiety out of the picture. A “first things first” system works for almost any endeavor, and college selection and planning is no different. It is the heart, head and hands approach to college.

Think in terms of building a house. The first thing you can do is begin to imagine the qualities that you would want. The number of bedrooms and bathrooms, the size and style of the kitchen and living room, two-story or ranch, and the ideal location. This is the dream. This is the HEART.

The next step could be to start separating needs from wants to identify the minimum standards by which our home should be built. If we have a particularly large family, we may need a certain number of bedrooms and perhaps a large garage to store things other than cars. We can also expect to run a small business from home, in which case we must account for a home office. This is the practical element. This is the HEAD.

Finally, accepting that the bank account is not an inexhaustible supply of resources, we must begin to assign value to our wants and needs to recognize, prioritize and finalize the blueprints. While we may want granite countertops, the budget may only include stained and textured concrete; an acceptable alternative. This process is the financial evaluation where we define the budget. This is the HAND.

Now think in terms of building a college plan. The dream: What school, regardless of cost, practicality, or whatever reason required, would our student want to attend? What about the second most desired school? A third and fourth option are welcomed. This step is simply to prioritize the choice of school based on criteria that may or may not be rooted in some standard of your reality or perceived financial limitations. This is the HEART.

With that list developed, we now take a very different tack. We apply reason to our selection. The most effective way to select a school is to first understand the desired outcome of earning a degree. With few exceptions, that desired outcome is a career in an area of ​​special passion for the student. The pursuit of a career in an area in which the student does not display or express any particular passion will be one that serves to frustrate, irritate, and ultimately force the student to change. The change will be in your career or your sense of happiness, neither of which are particularly comfortable undertakings. If that change is recognized while in college, the focus of the degree may change, and that invariably adds time and cost to the process.

Once the career is understood as the goal, the major specialties that could best lead to that career are identified. Schools offering that specialization are a natural extension that allows us to build a list of qualified schools. From that list, the application of all other criteria can be applied. These criteria can include any number of characteristics, including school size, location, student-teacher ratio, even the quality of food on campus. The short list of possible college options is born. This is the logical approach to college selection. This is the HEAD.

Finally, and probably the most intimidating element of developing a college plan is the financial aspect of higher education. Unfortunately for most parents, financial advice or college-related truths can be largely guided by myths.

In general, there is a huge misunderstanding about eligibility for financial aid. Too often it is assumed that qualification for financial aid is reserved for the neediest families. In fact, financial aid in some form is available to almost every wealth or income family. Therefore, the first financial step for a family is to fully understand their eligibility. A visit to the FAFSA is a great first step.

Another common misconception is the assumption that a public school is a less expensive alternative to a private school. While it’s very true that the college tag price can adhere to that rule, actual out-of-pocket spending can produce a significantly different picture. When aid eligibility is taken into account, the out-of-pocket expense for a private school that costs $ 10,000 to $ 20,000 per year more than its state-sponsored competitors may, in fact, be less expensive. Without understanding eligibility for assistance, an unfortunate majority of parents and students will never recognize this opportunity.

Another factor to consider is the probability of graduation within a 4-year time frame. Statistically, there are a number of studies that suggest that private schools graduate their students in 4 years at a significantly higher rate than many state schools. However, most families forget to include the time it takes to earn a degree as a cost factor. Five or six years in a state school can end up costing more than 4 years in a private school, regardless of how they can offset the cost of education with their donation funds. This process is the most powerful key to proper college selection.

Finally, a family must identify a budget for college. The timing of college expenses closely coincides with the onset of retirement. If parents spend too much on college without acknowledging the impact on their other financial goals, particularly retirement, they may not have time to recover too much. This holistic approach to the financial aspect of college is the HAND.

Rather than an act dictated largely by convention and the application of common tradition, college selection is much better approached with an educated plan. If a family uses the HEART, HEAD and HAND approach, measuring wants, needs and financial capacity, they will be handling an overwhelming task with great insight and will be much more likely to enjoy the fruits of their labor.