Isn’t it irritating when your boyfriend doesn’t tell you where he’s going and what he’s doing? You might think that, out of respect, shouldn’t two people in a committed relationship at least inform each other about their location, activities, and who they’re with?
Does it drive you crazy when it acts mysterious and you don’t know what’s really going on? Is he dating another girl behind your back or are you just being too sensitive?
The fact is, whether male or female, we all have different upbringings and different expectations regarding social courtesies and the like. So at the beginning of a relationship, it makes sense to communicate to your boyfriend what you would prefer. Because if you’ve never told him that you’d rather he text or call you to keep you informed, don’t automatically assume he’ll understand your clues. Think of it like he’s playing a game without setting any rules…it will eventually lead to nasty misunderstandings.
Men tend to treasure their freedom more than the average woman, but this doesn’t mean he shouldn’t or won’t give in to your request if you gently present your case. The key word here is “very good”.
Have you ever met someone who rudely asked you for a favor? She probably didn’t encourage you to accept her request, did she? In fact, it probably made you feel angry, resentful, and even rebellious. So if you want your guy to make some changes in your relationship, the first thing you should do is ask him nicely.
The next thing you should do is tell him how his actions make you feel by saying “When you do this, I feel…” This allows you to take responsibility for your feelings, instead of attacking his character.
And finally, you need to help him see the benefits of telling him where he’s going, so he can figure out the pros and cons for himself and have some incentive to change. For example, you can say “If you let me know where you’re going, I won’t interrupt your date.” Or “When you call me to tell me where you are, I feel loved and respected by you.”
If he still doesn’t get your point of view after letting him know how you feel, it tells you something about how he will react in the future to similar situations, and also how much he cares about your feelings. So now you need to decide if it’s something you can learn to live with or if it’s a deal breaker for you.
