If you have questions about whether you and your ex should have broken up, you’re not alone. Many others have felt the same way. Second thoughts are typical. The key is to analyze the reasons you are giving yourself for WHY you think the relationship was meant to be after all.
If your ex was right for you, the relationship wouldn’t have ended with one of you leaving her to pursue other options. When you have this feeling and act on it, one can assume that it is a “gut” feeling that you have received. In other words, something gave you a warning sign that things weren’t meant to work out. Whether you saw it that way or not, it was most likely a TRUE reaction.
Are you coming to the conclusion that you should have stayed with your ex after you or your ex broke up only to find out that the grass really isn’t greener on the other side? What you need to think about is that as humans we enjoy COMFORTABLE relationships – the “old standby”. Even if the relationship really isn’t good, we tend to go back to what we know. This is a vicious cycle that must be stopped. Maybe it’s time to look forward and not look back. You will always find good reasons that will take you back to your comfortable relationship. Chances are the amenities won’t cut it after a while and you’ll repeat the breakup cycle all over again.
Sometimes the breaking point in relationships is when they “come out” to be a couple. Things are fine and they are both happy and content… while it was a secret. So when you start telling people, it’s not that fun. The mystery and romance have vanished and now what’s left? That happens A LOT. Don’t think it’s just your relationship. Often, it is the secret of the relationship that holds it together! Once again, this would be the time to move on and do some things you enjoy for a while instead of focusing on the past relationship.
If you come to the conclusion that it really wasn’t a good relationship and what you miss is only the good times, you can move on. You will have closure because you have decided that it is not worth your time. You can chalk it up to a lesson learned.
The other side of the coin would be deciding that it IS worth talking to your ex to see if there might be a solution and a possible chance to start over. If that’s the case, you’ll also feel confident that you’ve thought it through. Most importantly, take it easy, one step at a time. If the relationship is really meant to be, it will happen on its own.
