When someone starts spending time with another person, they may not even think about trying to control what they can or can’t do. In fact, this might be the last thing on your mind.

What may interest them mainly is getting to know the other person and enjoying the time they spend with them. At this stage, it may be clear to them that they are two separate people.

the next phase

However, as time passes and you grow closer to each other, you may feel the need to control what your other person does or doesn’t do. If this occurs, it is likely to show that a part of them no longer sees the other person as a separate individual.

Instead, the part of them that wants to define how other people live their lives will see them as an extension of themselves. And since this person is an extension of himself, it will be perfectly acceptable for him to behave in this way.

a strong influence

Now, if this part of them is really strong, they might not even realize what’s going on. As a result of this, they are going to completely lose touch with how they were before.

In a way, it will be as if the person they were in the beginning is gone and now they have taken on a totally different identity. Then they will look the same, but this could be as far as possible.

a focus

On top of this, one is likely to spend a lot of time thinking about what their partner is doing. So if you were able to focus on other areas of your life during the early stages of your time together, this will no longer be the case.

One way of looking at it would be to say that your partner has become the center of your world, with everything else fading into the background. Behaving this way will not only have a negative effect on your relationship; it will also have a negative effect on your entire life.

A shock

Your partner may have a hard time understanding what has happened and may respond in one of two ways. What they might do is make it clear that one’s behavior is not acceptable.

This could be done in a very gentle way or they could get angry and attack you. On the other hand, they may not even say anything and this can show that they are used to being with someone who controls them.

two results

If they stand their ground and make it clear that one’s behavior is not acceptable, one might apologize and say they didn’t even realize they were being controlling. Alternatively, they might dismiss what is being said and deny that they are doing anything wrong.

If the latter happens, they may need to think about whether or not they are with the right person. On the other hand, if they are used to being controlled, they are unlikely to do anything, and this means that one could get even worse over time.

Some examples

When it comes to how you behave, you may want to know what your partner is up to pretty much all the time. They may say they don’t want them to do certain things or see certain people.

At one point they will take an inch and as time goes on they will end up taking a mile. Ideally, your partner will draw the line and walk away if you don’t change your behavior, but if you don’t, you’re likely in for an unpleasant time.

The reason

If you could take a step back and reflect on why you are behaving this way, you may discover that you are doing it to avoid how you feel. Stopping behaving in this way could cause them a great deal of anxiety, and underlying this anxiety could be the fear of abandonment.

So checking in on your partner is simply a way to avoid being overwhelmed by emotional pain. It can be difficult to understand why an adult would have this fear; it’s not like they would really die if their partner left them.

a mighty force

However, even if they look like adults, they are not going to feel like adults. On an emotional level, he is likely to feel like a needy child, and this part of him will control his behavior.

The reason they feel like a needy child may be because they were neglected during their early years. Perhaps this was a time when they were abandoned, so they are afraid of being abandoned as adults.

Awareness

What they fear will then have already happened, and this probably means that what they really fear is coming into contact with the pain of being abandoned. However, this bread doesn’t have to control them forever.

However, the only way this pain will no longer control them is if they do something about the emotional pain that is inside of them. With the help of a therapist or a healer, for example, they will be able to overcome this pain.